20. A Prayer for the Birthmother

Today’s devotion may look a little bit different than previous messages. We have spoken at quite some extent about the mission to serve these amazing kids. We have discussed our responsibility to raise them with integrity and fear of the Lord. We acknowledged that we’ve been called across the road, across the state, across the country, and even across the world to ensure these kids are given every opportunity to learn about the God who set them apart before the creation of the world to be sons and daughters. And for the most part, we feel firm and steady in this calling to serve God and our little ones. But there is someone else we have been called to serve—someone we feel mixed emotions for at times perhaps. Someone who was there long before we were ever in the picture. Someone who was present for the very first heartbeat.

By embracing these kids and raising them to the best of our ability, we are serving not just our children, but their birthmothers as well.

This can be a touchy subject, but I encourage you to walk down this path with me for a moment. She will be a shadow felt and present in our homes for the duration of our children’s lives. Our kids will wonder about her, and in tense moments may wish they could return to her. And while this may cut deep into our hearts, it is something we cannot afford to brush away as it will most certainly be a void felt deeply by our children.

Several months ago I was given the opportunity to write our birthmother a letter. I wrote a blog about this experience which I would like for you to read as today’s devotion. It was a hard letter for me to write, but it helped me to see the birthmother’s perspective and allowed me to see her through a more objective lens. I encourage you to write a similar letter. Chances are, it will likely be a simple entry in your journal and won’t make it any farther than that, so there is no risk in this exercise. Let’s make it a point today to pray and think specifically for the birthmother of our children. If you, like me, know your birthmother’s story, then pray for healing of her heart and perhaps the power to forgive if you find that necessary. If you are still waiting to learn of your birthmother or were not provided any information about her, then pray for her wisdom as he carries your baby to term, pray for her time together with your child to be sweet, and pray for the decision she will soon be making.

So grab a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and click here to read today’s devotion. Once you have finished the blog, come back and look through these verses and say this simple prayer with me this morning. Don’t feel guilty if your emotions or nerves get the best of you. This is a tough subject to process and will be a topic you will have so many opportunities to grow in by God’s grace if you let him.


Verses to Consider:

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. –ROMANS 12:9-13

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. -1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. –PHILIPPIANS 4:13

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. –ROMANS 8:28


A Prayer for Your Day:

God, I cannot begin to understand the circumstances or conditions that led to our birthmother’s relinquishment of [child’s name]. With a mother’s heart, I cannot even fathom the type of decision which was made. God I thank you that I have never had to consider the possibility of giving up my own [son/daughter]. The pain and doubt of that decision I know will haunt her every day, regardless of whether she made the decision in love or not. I pray for healing of her heart, and that if the decision is eating away at her that you would provide her with peace that even if this was not the best decision, you use all things for good, so her sacrifice will not go without blessings (Rom. 8:28). Help her to know in her heart that her decision will be honored. Give me the strength to never speak against her, especially in front of [child’s name]. You have chosen to unite the two of us forever through this child, and I therefore see it as a responsibility to honor her sacrifice by doing my very best job to raise [child’s name] with every opportunity she dreamed [he/she] would have. Help her to rest in the assurance that [he/she] is dearly loved and will be raised to the best of my ability.

In Jesus’s name,



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