This week has been one for the record books. It has been a long time since I have felt such a deep awareness of spiritual warfare around our little family. Matt and I have been deeply burdened with a heavy awareness of the enemy’s attempts to crush our spirits and our anticipation of the coming joy of bringing Desi home: conflicts with loved ones, diagnoses of sickness with others, painful experiences in our immediate community, and still no movement in the court’s contact with Desi’s birth mother after weeks of waiting. Matt and I have spent more hours on our faces before the Lord this week than we have in a long, long time. We are not angry or devastated—God’s peace is ever present, but we are confused and eagerly listening for what God is obviously trying so hard to communicate to us.
Something I felt prompted to do this week was sit and write two lists. One would be a list of things I hope for and often feel entitled to as though they are promises from the Lord. The second was a list of promises I overlook and do not think to ask for on a daily basis. What I came to remember quite quickly is that God does not promise conflicts with friends and loved ones will not arise no matter how hard you work to establish strong relationships that are usually healthy and fruitful. But God does promise reconciliation to those who abide by his grace and move to restore peace in humility and love. He does not promise that we or the people around us will live in full and total health, but he promises to be near the brokenhearted and be ever-present every minute through the pain and fear. He never promised that the world would understand our journey to Desi or the complicated emotions that arise in the waiting, but he promises to make our way straight when we submit to his will to bring him home no matter how hard the journey can be. God never promised this adoption would be fast or without stumbling blocks, but God promises that despite all these things, victory is ours, and he has good, good plans for me and for Matt and for Desi to prosper and not to fall short of his calling on our lives.
So all that to say there’s no clear update or news to share this week, but I’d like to share a song that is neither structured nor perhaps even written. It’s just a deep, guttural cry to the Lord and the Holy Spirit to come in power and to establish his kingdom here in a mighty way. I hope this song speaks to your hearts today and that the Holy Spirit would blow powerfully through every facet of your life as you seek to become more and more like him in this world that can be tough to understand at times. We love you and thank you for your continued prayer for these final steps to come to fruition and our little family to be united.