It’s been two whole months since I’ve written anything at all about our journey to Desi, and when I go back and read the last post just days before hopping on a plane to South Korea for the first time, I’m stunned at how different the woman who wrote those words has become in such a short period of time. If I were to have a conversation with that woman and try to explain what the next two months would bring, she wouldn’t believe me, and to be honest, I wouldn’t know what to say. Even now, I struggle to grasp at many of the special moments and the hundreds of emotions that have skittered past almost without my realizing it. Like fireworks, each day lingered just long enough to see that it happened before the next one pulled my attention away. Lately I’ve found myself flipping through pictures on my phone and wondering to myself, “Did this actually happen? I thought I dreamed this!”
There is no way to explain what it’s like to wake up every single morning knowing the child you have longed for and waited for with a love no one who hasn’t gone through that unbearable wait could understand is home. He’s home. And because he is home, I am finally home. My heart isn’t split in two places as it has been these past two years. And to wake up every morning to him crying for me and reaching for me is a God-given gift and an honor that I never could have possibly deserved. God orchestrated a miracle and I got to be a part of it, and I hope I never lose sight of the gift he has given me as Desi’s mother.
I remember a moment nearly two years ago that seems like an eternity away now. My husband came home from work and found me in the bedroom with five journals filled with notes scattered across the bed, our closet door freshly painted with chalk paint with half a dozen countries listed on it, each with a set of pros and cons and agency contacts. Of course he was curious to know what I was doing to which I simply responded, “God told me our kid is out there somewhere and it’s time to go get him. Now we just have to find out where he is!” And my love for Desi started that very day. Without a clue who or where he was, or what gender and age he would be, even before the day he was born, I loved him just as much as I do in this moment, which I know must be so difficult to believe. God began knitting us together on that very day, and every single event that happened in the two years following was carefully orchestrated to ensure that we would find each other, and begin a life together that we could never have imagined for ourselves back then.
While it will take time to process and explain the many events and adventures that have occurred these past couple of months, I want to at least share a few key moments until I’m able to come back and write about them in more detail.
Trip 1: Meeting Desi and Court Date
Trip 2: Gotcha Day and Parenthood
Desi officially became a Doherty on April 5, 2017, less than a month after we arrived back home after our court appearance. We were given less than two week’s notice to repack our bags and get right back on a plane to bring home our little boy. Less than twenty-four hours after arriving in Seoul, we found ourselves back at the agency ready to sign the official placement papers and begin the first week of our journey into parenthood in a foreign country.